psycho-cunt:

coldbloodedkiller:

Last Words
Ted Bundy - “I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.”

Serial Killer Ted Bundy confessed to killing 30 women between 1974 and 1979 in Washington, Colorado, Florida and Utah. His total number of victims is unknown and is estimated to run over 100.

Aileen Wuornos - “I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back like Independence Day, with Jesus June 6. Like the movie, big mother ship and all, I’ll be back.”

In 1989 and 1990, Wuornos robbed, shot and killed at least 6 men. 

John Wayne Gacy - “Kiss my ass.”

John Wayne Gacy was convicted of the rape and murder of 33 men between 1972 and 1978. He was known as the Killer Clown.

James French - “Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French fries’!”

French murdered is cellmate in order to be executed instead of serving a life sentence. 

Carl Panzram - “Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!”

Panzram confessed to killing 22 people and having sodomized over 1,000 males. 

Jeffrey Dahmer - “I don’t care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.”

Dahmer murdered 17 males between 1978 and 1991. His murders included rape, dismemberment, necrophilia and cannibalism.

Peter Kurten - “Tell me, after my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures.”

Kurten was convicted of killing 9 people but his estimated number of victims could be over 60. 


I like John Wayne Gacy. He’s always been my favourite.

psycho-cunt:

coldbloodedkiller:

Last Words

Ted Bundy - “I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.”

Serial Killer Ted Bundy confessed to killing 30 women between 1974 and 1979 in Washington, Colorado, Florida and Utah. His total number of victims is unknown and is estimated to run over 100.

Aileen Wuornos - “I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back like Independence Day, with Jesus June 6. Like the movie, big mother ship and all, I’ll be back.”

In 1989 and 1990, Wuornos robbed, shot and killed at least 6 men. 

John Wayne Gacy - “Kiss my ass.”

John Wayne Gacy was convicted of the rape and murder of 33 men between 1972 and 1978. He was known as the Killer Clown.

James French - “Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French fries’!”

French murdered is cellmate in order to be executed instead of serving a life sentence. 

Carl Panzram - “Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!”

Panzram confessed to killing 22 people and having sodomized over 1,000 males. 

Jeffrey Dahmer - “I don’t care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.”

Dahmer murdered 17 males between 1978 and 1991. His murders included rape, dismemberment, necrophilia and cannibalism.

Peter Kurten - “Tell me, after my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures.”

Kurten was convicted of killing 9 people but his estimated number of victims could be over 60. 

I like John Wayne Gacy. He’s always been my favourite.

(via psycho-cunt-deactivated20120305)



Antisocial Personality Disorder 

oolalamarie:

To understand antisocial personality disorder (ASPD or APD), it is necessary to learn what having any personality disorder involves. As defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR, 2000), a personality disorder (PD) is a persistent pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that is significantly different from what is considered normal within the person’s own culture.

Professionals group personality disorders based on a commonality of symptoms.

Cluster A personality disorders are those that include symptoms of social isolation, and/or odd, eccentric behavior. These disorders include

    • paranoid personality disorder,
    • schizotypal personality disorder,
  • schizoid personality disorder.

Cluster B personality disorders are those that include symptoms of dramatic or erratic behaviors (counter-social behaviors). These personality disorders include

    • antisocial personality disorder,
    • histrionic personality disorder,

Cluster C personality disorders are dominated by difficulties with anxiety and inhibited behavior. These disorders are referred to as and include

    • avoidant personality disorder,
    • dependent personality disorder,

Antisocial personality disorder is specifically a pervasive pattern of disregarding and violating the rights of others. Diagnostic criteria for this disorder state that this pattern must include at least three of the following specific signs and symptoms:

    • Lack of conforming to laws, as evidenced by repeatedly committing crimes
    • Repeated deceitfulness in relationships with others, such as lying, using false names, or conning others for profit or pleasure
    • Failure to think or plan ahead (impulsivity)
    • Tendency to irritability, anger, and aggression, as shown by repeatedly assaulting others or getting into frequent physical fights
    • Disregard for personal safety or the safety of others
    • Persistent lack of taking responsibility, such as failing to establish a pattern of good work habits or keeping financial obligations
  • A lack of feeling guilty about wrong-doing

Other important characteristics of this disorder include that it is not diagnosed in children (individuals younger than 18 years of age), but the affected person must have shown symptoms of this diagnosis at least since 15 years of age. Additionally, it cannot be diagnosed if the person only shows symptoms of antisocial personality disorder at the same time they are suffering from schizophrenia or when having a manic episode. This disorder tends to occur in about 1% of women and 3% of men in the United States.

For more info:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001919/

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx7.htm

http://www.accg.net/antisocial.htm



criminalprofiler:

Crime Scene Clean Up
Crime-scene clean-up is a niche market within the cleaning industry. It’s called CTS Decon — crime and trauma scene decontamination — and it involves cleaning up dangerous material. This could mean the biologically contaminated scene of a violent death (homicide, suicide or accidental) or the chemically contaminated scene of a methamphetamine lab or anthrax-exposure site. Crime-scene cleaners come in and restore the scene to its pre-incident state.
When a violent death occurs in someone’s home, the family typically doesn’t move out of the house. The c­leaners’ job is to remove any sign of what happened and any biohazards that result from such an incident. Federal regulations deem all bodily fluids to be biohazards, so any blood or tissue at a crime scene is considered a potential source of infection. You need special knowledge to safely handle biohazardous material and to know what to look for at the scene — for instance, if there’s a thumbnail-size bloodstain on the carpet, there’s a good chance that there’s a 2-foot-diameter bloodstain on the floorboards underneath it. You can’t just clean the carpet and call it a day. You also need permits to transport and dispose of biohazardous waste. Companies that clean up crime scenes have all of the necessary permits, training and, perhaps most important, willingness to handle material that would send most of us running out the door to throw up in the bushes.

criminalprofiler:

Crime Scene Clean Up

Crime-scene clean-up is a niche market within the cleaning industry. It’s called CTS Decon — crime and trauma scene decontamination — and it involves cleaning up dangerous material. This could mean the biologically contaminated scene of a violent death (homicide, suicide or accidental) or the chemically contaminated scene of a methamphetamine lab or anthrax-exposure site. Crime-scene cleaners come in and restore the scene to its pre-incident state.

When a violent death occurs in someone’s home, the family typically doesn’t move out of the house. The c­leaners’ job is to remove any sign of what happened and any biohazards that result from such an incident. Federal regulations deem all bodily fluids to be biohazards, so any blood or tissue at a crime scene is considered a potential source of infection. You need special knowledge to safely handle biohazardous material and to know what to look for at the scene — for instance, if there’s a thumbnail-size bloodstain on the carpet, there’s a good chance that there’s a 2-foot-diameter bloodstain on the floorboards underneath it. You can’t just clean the carpet and call it a day. You also need permits to transport and dispose of biohazardous waste. Companies that clean up crime scenes have all of the necessary permits, training and, perhaps most important, willingness to handle material that would send most of us running out the door to throw up in the bushes.

(via bunnybundy)



the-star-stuff:

10 Psychological States You’ve Never Heard Of — And When You Experienced Them

Everybody knows what you mean when you say you’re happy or sad. But what about all those emotional states you don’t have words for? Here are ten feelings you may have had, but never knew how to explain.
1. DysphoriaOften used to describe depression in psychological disorders, dysphoria is general state of sadness that includes restlessness, lack of energy, anxiety, and vague irritation. It is the opposite of euphoria, and is different from typical sadness because it often includes a kind of jumpiness and some anger. You have probably experienced it when coming down from a stimulant like chocolate, coffee, or something stronger. Or you may have felt it in response to a distressing situation, extreme boredom, or depression.
2. EnthrallmentPsychology professor W. Gerrod Parrott has broken down human emotions into subcategories, which themselves have their own subcategories. Most of the emotions he identifies, like joy and anger, are pretty recognizable. But one subset of joy, “enthrallment,” you may not have heard of before. Unlike the perkier subcategories of joy like cheerfulness, zest, and relief, enthrallment is a state of intense rapture. It is not the same as love or lust. You might experience it when you see an incredible spectacle — a concert, a movie, a rocket taking off — that captures all your attention and elevates your mood to tremendous heights.
3. NormopathyPsychiatric theorist Christopher Bollas invented the idea of normopathy to describe people who are so focused on blending in and conforming to social norms that it becomes a kind of mania. A person who is normotic is often unhealthily fixated on having no personality at all, and only doing exactly what is expected by society. 
4. AbjectionThere are a few ways to define abjection, but French philosopher Julia Kristeva (literally) wrote the book on what it means to experience abjection. She suggests that every human goes through a period of abjection as tiny children when we first realize that our bodies are separate from our parents’ bodies — this sense of separation causes a feeling of extreme horror we carry with us throughout our lives. That feeling of abjection gets re-activated when we experience events that, however briefly, cause us to question the boundaries of our sense of self. Often, abjection is what you are feeling when you witness or experience something so horrific that it causes you to throw up. A classic example is seeing a corpse, but abjection can also be caused by seeing shit or open wounds. 
5. SublimationIf you’ve ever taken a class where you learned about Sigmund Freud’s theories about sex, you probably have heard of sublimation. Freud believed that human emotions were sort of like a steam engine, and sexual desire was the steam. If you blocked the steam from coming out of one valve, pressure would build up and force it out of another. Sublimation is the process of redirecting your steamy desires from having naughty sex, to doing something socially productive like writing an article about psychology or fixing the lawnmower or developing a software program. If you’ve ever gotten your frustrations out by building something, or gotten a weirdly intense pleasure from creating an art project, you’re sublimating. 
6. Repetition compulsionAh, Freud. You gave us so many new feelings and psychological states to explore! The repetition compulsion is a bit more complicated than Freud’s famous definition — “the desire to return to an earlier state of things.” On the surface, a repetition compulsion is something you experience fairly often. It’s the urge to do something again and again. Maybe you feel compelled to always order the same thing at your favorite restaurant, or always take the same route home, even though there are other yummy foods and other easy ways to get home. Maybe your repetition compulsion is a bit more sinister, and you always feel the urge to date people who treat you like crap, over and over, even though you know in advance it will turn out badly (just like the last ten times). 
7. Repressive desublimationPolitical theorist Herbert Marcuse was a big fan of Freud and lived through the social upheavals of the 1960s. He wanted to explain how societies could go through periods of social liberation, like the countercultures and revolutions of the mid-twentieth century, and yet still remain under the (often strict) control of governments and corporations. How could the U.S. have gone through all those protests in the 60s but never actually overthrown the government? The answer, he decided, was a peculiar emotional state known as “repressive desublimation.” Remember, Freud said sublimation is when you route your sexual energies into something non-sexual. But Marcuse lived during a time when people were very much routing their sexual energies into sex — it was the sexual liberation era, when free love reigned. People were desublimating. And yet they continued to be repressed by many other social strictures, coming from corporate life, the military, and the government.
8. AporiaYou know that feeling of crazy emptiness you get when you realize that something you believed isn’t actually true? And then things feel even more weird when you realize that actually, the thing you believed might be true and might not — and you’ll never really know? That’s aporia. The term comes from ancient Greek, but is also beloved of post-structuralist theorists like Jacques Derrida and Gayatri Spivak. The reason modern theorists love the idea of aporia is that it helps to describe the feeling people have in a world of information overload, where you are often bombarded with contradictory messages that seem equally true.
9. CompersionWe’ve gotten into some pretty philosophical territory, so now it’s time to return to some good, old-fashioned internet memes. The word compersion was popularized by people in online communites devoted to polyamory and open relationships, in order to describe the opposite of feeling jealous when your partner dates somebody else. Though a monogamous person would feel jealous seeing their partner kiss another person, a non-monogamous person could feel compersion, a sense of joy in seeing their partner happy with another person. But monogamous people can feel compersion, too, if we extend the definition out to mean any situation where you feel the opposite of jealous. If a friend wins an award you hoped to win, you can still feel compersion (though you might be a little jealous too).
10. Group feelingsSome psychologists argue that there are some feelings we can only have as members of a group — these are called intergroup and intragroup feelings. Often you notice them when they are in contradiction with your personal feelings. For example, many people feel intergroup pride and guilt for things that their countries have done, even if they weren’t born when their countries did those things. Though you did not fight in a war, and are therefore not personally responsible for what happened, you share in an intergroup feeling of pride or guilt. Group feelings often cause painful contradictions. 
Image by Tom Wang/Shutterstock

the-star-stuff:

10 Psychological States You’ve Never Heard Of — And When You Experienced Them

Everybody knows what you mean when you say you’re happy or sad. But what about all those emotional states you don’t have words for? Here are ten feelings you may have had, but never knew how to explain.

1. Dysphoria
Often used to describe depression in psychological disorders, dysphoria is general state of sadness that includes restlessness, lack of energy, anxiety, and vague irritation. It is the opposite of euphoria, and is different from typical sadness because it often includes a kind of jumpiness and some anger. You have probably experienced it when coming down from a stimulant like chocolate, coffee, or something stronger. Or you may have felt it in response to a distressing situation, extreme boredom, or depression.

2. Enthrallment
Psychology professor W. Gerrod Parrott has broken down human emotions into subcategories, which themselves have their own subcategories. Most of the emotions he identifies, like joy and anger, are pretty recognizable. But one subset of joy, “enthrallment,” you may not have heard of before. Unlike the perkier subcategories of joy like cheerfulness, zest, and relief, enthrallment is a state of intense rapture. It is not the same as love or lust. You might experience it when you see an incredible spectacle — a concert, a movie, a rocket taking off — that captures all your attention and elevates your mood to tremendous heights.

3. Normopathy
Psychiatric theorist Christopher Bollas invented the idea of normopathy to describe people who are so focused on blending in and conforming to social norms that it becomes a kind of mania. A person who is normotic is often unhealthily fixated on having no personality at all, and only doing exactly what is expected by society. 

4. Abjection
There are a few ways to define abjection, but French philosopher Julia Kristeva (literally) wrote the book on what it means to experience abjection. She suggests that every human goes through a period of abjection as tiny children when we first realize that our bodies are separate from our parents’ bodies — this sense of separation causes a feeling of extreme horror we carry with us throughout our lives. That feeling of abjection gets re-activated when we experience events that, however briefly, cause us to question the boundaries of our sense of self. Often, abjection is what you are feeling when you witness or experience something so horrific that it causes you to throw up. A classic example is seeing a corpse, but abjection can also be caused by seeing shit or open wounds. 

5. Sublimation
If you’ve ever taken a class where you learned about Sigmund Freud’s theories about sex, you probably have heard of sublimation. Freud believed that human emotions were sort of like a steam engine, and sexual desire was the steam. If you blocked the steam from coming out of one valve, pressure would build up and force it out of another. Sublimation is the process of redirecting your steamy desires from having naughty sex, to doing something socially productive like writing an article about psychology or fixing the lawnmower or developing a software program. If you’ve ever gotten your frustrations out by building something, or gotten a weirdly intense pleasure from creating an art project, you’re sublimating. 

6. Repetition compulsion
Ah, Freud. You gave us so many new feelings and psychological states to explore! The repetition compulsion is a bit more complicated than Freud’s famous definition — “the desire to return to an earlier state of things.” On the surface, a repetition compulsion is something you experience fairly often. It’s the urge to do something again and again. Maybe you feel compelled to always order the same thing at your favorite restaurant, or always take the same route home, even though there are other yummy foods and other easy ways to get home. Maybe your repetition compulsion is a bit more sinister, and you always feel the urge to date people who treat you like crap, over and over, even though you know in advance it will turn out badly (just like the last ten times). 

7. Repressive desublimation
Political theorist Herbert Marcuse was a big fan of Freud and lived through the social upheavals of the 1960s. He wanted to explain how societies could go through periods of social liberation, like the countercultures and revolutions of the mid-twentieth century, and yet still remain under the (often strict) control of governments and corporations. How could the U.S. have gone through all those protests in the 60s but never actually overthrown the government? The answer, he decided, was a peculiar emotional state known as “repressive desublimation.” Remember, Freud said sublimation is when you route your sexual energies into something non-sexual. But Marcuse lived during a time when people were very much routing their sexual energies into sex — it was the sexual liberation era, when free love reigned. People were desublimating. And yet they continued to be repressed by many other social strictures, coming from corporate life, the military, and the government.

8. Aporia
You know that feeling of crazy emptiness you get when you realize that something you believed isn’t actually true? And then things feel even more weird when you realize that actually, the thing you believed might be true and might not — and you’ll never really know? That’s aporia. The term comes from ancient Greek, but is also beloved of post-structuralist theorists like Jacques Derrida and Gayatri Spivak. The reason modern theorists love the idea of aporia is that it helps to describe the feeling people have in a world of information overload, where you are often bombarded with contradictory messages that seem equally true.

9. Compersion
We’ve gotten into some pretty philosophical territory, so now it’s time to return to some good, old-fashioned internet memes. The word compersion was popularized by people in online communites devoted to polyamory and open relationships, in order to describe the opposite of feeling jealous when your partner dates somebody else. Though a monogamous person would feel jealous seeing their partner kiss another person, a non-monogamous person could feel compersion, a sense of joy in seeing their partner happy with another person. But monogamous people can feel compersion, too, if we extend the definition out to mean any situation where you feel the opposite of jealous. If a friend wins an award you hoped to win, you can still feel compersion (though you might be a little jealous too).

10. Group feelings
Some psychologists argue that there are some feelings we can only have as members of a group — these are called intergroup and intragroup feelings. Often you notice them when they are in contradiction with your personal feelings. For example, many people feel intergroup pride and guilt for things that their countries have done, even if they weren’t born when their countries did those things. Though you did not fight in a war, and are therefore not personally responsible for what happened, you share in an intergroup feeling of pride or guilt. Group feelings often cause painful contradictions. 

Image by Tom Wang/Shutterstock

(via partyinhell)



Serial Killer Statistics 

queerexperience:

The serial killer statistics -

  • The USA has 76% of the worlds serial killers.

  • Europe in second, has 17%.England has produced 28% of the European total; Germany produces 27%, and France produces 13%.

  • California leads in the US with the most Serial Homicide cases that have occured. Texas, New York, Illinois, and Florida follow shortly behind.
  • Maine has the lowest occurence of serial murders - none. Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, Delaware, and Vermont each have had only one case of a serial murder.
  • 84% of American killers are caucasian.

  • 16% are black.

  • Men make up at least 90% of the world wide total of serial killers.

  • 65% of victims are female.

  • 89% of victims are white.

  • 44% of all killers start in their twenties.

  • 26% start in their teens.

  • 24% start in their thirties.
  • Out of all the killers, 86% are heterosexual.

http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/streiber/273/inf_stats.htm

(Source: horrorchampharvey, via evilminds)



forensicsandpathology:

Natural Means of Preservation
Embalming has been in vogue since time immemorial without the deliberate intervention of humans.
Freezing: By this method bodies are preserved for centuries in the ice and snow of glaciers or snowcapped mountains.
Dry cold: A morgue located on the top of St Bernard Mountain in Switzerland was constructed to permit free admission of the elements. True mummies were produced as a result of the passage of the cold, dry air current over the corpses.
Dry heat: Natural mummies are produced in the extremely dry, warm areas of Egypt, southwestern America, and Peru.
Nature of the soil at the place of interment: There are recorded instances of the discovery of bodies in a good state of preservation after long-term burial in a peat bog, which had a high tannin content, or in soils strongly impregnated with salts alluminuim or copper.

forensicsandpathology:

Natural Means of Preservation

Embalming has been in vogue since time immemorial without the deliberate intervention of humans.

  • Freezing: By this method bodies are preserved for centuries in the ice and snow of glaciers or snowcapped mountains.
  • Dry cold: A morgue located on the top of St Bernard Mountain in Switzerland was constructed to permit free admission of the elements. True mummies were produced as a result of the passage of the cold, dry air current over the corpses.
  • Dry heat: Natural mummies are produced in the extremely dry, warm areas of Egypt, southwestern America, and Peru.
  • Nature of the soil at the place of interment: There are recorded instances of the discovery of bodies in a good state of preservation after long-term burial in a peat bog, which had a high tannin content, or in soils strongly impregnated with salts alluminuim or copper.

(via final6-deactivated20130702)



forensicsandpathology:

Occasionally, livor mortis may appear as an unusual  pattern or look like an injury. This man was discovered at the bottom of  some stairs. The pathologist can cut into the area to differentiate  between livor mortis and injury.
An incision into the area reveals only the yellow fat and no blood. This indicates the area is lividity and not an injury.

forensicsandpathology:

Occasionally, livor mortis may appear as an unusual pattern or look like an injury. This man was discovered at the bottom of some stairs. The pathologist can cut into the area to differentiate between livor mortis and injury.

An incision into the area reveals only the yellow fat and no blood. This indicates the area is lividity and not an injury.



criminalprofiler:

False Confessions
There are three fundamental types of false confessions. 
voluntary false confession, in which the person may read about the crime in the paper, contact the police, and provide information indicating involvement in the crime. Sometimes this occurs with rather sensational crimes. Often the police, however, do not take such confessions seriously, because it’s clear that the person in question has a significant mental health problem or some sort of delusional characteristic, or the person has “confessed” to involvement in major crimes before. The police often withhold some information from the press, which they may try to elicit that from a person giving a confession. If the person is unable to provide the non-public information, the confession is likely to be false.
coerced-compliant false confession, may occur when the interrogation process is rather severe. First, the suspect is submitted to a long, stressful period of questioning. The person may be kept in a room for hours, sometimes without food; s/he may be tired. Then, police officers come in and use stringent and severe forms of interrogation. Finally, after a long period of time, the suspect may actually provide a confession. The purpose in confessing is simply to evade or escape the stressful environment. At some point, the suspect will say almost anything to get out of the interrogation situation. However, unless the suspect provides accurate information, the confession is unlikely to hold up in court.
coerced-internalized false confession, the hardest to understand. A person is brought in for questioning, and through very coercive types of interrogative processes the person begins to think, “Hey, maybe I actually did do the crime. These guys are professionals―they know what they’re talking about, and they tell me that they’ve got absolute evidence.” So, the person begins to imagine that they may have actually done the crime they have been accused of, and assume responsibility for it. Suspects who give coerced-internalized false confessions often have a history of substance abuse or are guilty of other things. For example, the suspect may have been drunk on the night of the crime and doesn’t remember what occurred, but when s/he gets the information, s/he tries to construct a memory. So this type of confession is the hardest one to understand, but it does occur on occasion.

criminalprofiler:

False Confessions

There are three fundamental types of false confessions.

  • voluntary false confession, in which the person may read about the crime in the paper, contact the police, and provide information indicating involvement in the crime. Sometimes this occurs with rather sensational crimes. Often the police, however, do not take such confessions seriously, because it’s clear that the person in question has a significant mental health problem or some sort of delusional characteristic, or the person has “confessed” to involvement in major crimes before. The police often withhold some information from the press, which they may try to elicit that from a person giving a confession. If the person is unable to provide the non-public information, the confession is likely to be false.
  • coerced-compliant false confession, may occur when the interrogation process is rather severe. First, the suspect is submitted to a long, stressful period of questioning. The person may be kept in a room for hours, sometimes without food; s/he may be tired. Then, police officers come in and use stringent and severe forms of interrogation. Finally, after a long period of time, the suspect may actually provide a confession. The purpose in confessing is simply to evade or escape the stressful environment. At some point, the suspect will say almost anything to get out of the interrogation situation. However, unless the suspect provides accurate information, the confession is unlikely to hold up in court.
  • coerced-internalized false confession, the hardest to understand. A person is brought in for questioning, and through very coercive types of interrogative processes the person begins to think, “Hey, maybe I actually did do the crime. These guys are professionals―they know what they’re talking about, and they tell me that they’ve got absolute evidence.” So, the person begins to imagine that they may have actually done the crime they have been accused of, and assume responsibility for it. Suspects who give coerced-internalized false confessions often have a history of substance abuse or are guilty of other things. For example, the suspect may have been drunk on the night of the crime and doesn’t remember what occurred, but when s/he gets the information, s/he tries to construct a memory. So this type of confession is the hardest one to understand, but it does occur on occasion.

(via partyinhell)


2 years ago · 103 notes (© criminalprofiler)
#read

Psychopathy: A misunderstood personality disorder 

lovehologram:

… In the course of their research, the authors reviewed many scientific findings that seemed to contradict one another. “Psychopathy has long been assumed to be a single personality disorder. However, there is increasing evidence that it is a confluence of several different personality traits,” Skeem says. The authors of the monograph argue that rather than being “one thing” as often assumed, psychopathy appears to be a complex, multifaceted condition marked by blends of personality traits reflecting differing levels of disinhibition, boldness, and meanness. And scientific findings also suggest that a sizable subgroup of juvenile and adult offenders labeled as psychopathic are actually more emotionally disturbed than emotionally detached, showing signs of anxiety and dysphoria.

… Although many people might assume that psychopaths are ‘born,’ not ‘made,’ the authors stress that psychopathy is not just a matter of genes — it appears to have multiple constitutional causes that can be shaped by environmental factors. Many psychologists also assume that psychopathy is inalterable — once a psychopath, always a psychopath. However, there is currently scant scientific evidence to support this claim. Recent empirical work suggests that youth and adults with high scores on measures of psychopathy can show reduced violent and other criminal behavior after intensive treatment.

… Skeem points out that psychopathic individuals often have no history of violent behaviour or criminal convictions. “Psychopathy cannot be equated with extreme violence or serial killing. In fact, “psychopaths” do not appear different in kind from other people, or inalterably dangerous,” she observes. Nor is it clear that psychopathy predicts violence much better than a past history of violent and other criminal behavior — or general antisocial traits.

… In clarifying the personality traits that characterize psychopathy, scientists can contribute to prevention and treatment strategies that improve public health and safety. “In short, research on psychopathy has evolved to a level that it can greatly improve on the current, ‘one size fits all’ policy approach,” concludes Skeem.



Psychopaths’ Brains Wired to Seek Rewards, No Matter the Consequences 

julyagain:

Abnormalities in how the nucleus accumbens, highlighted here, processes dopamine have been found in individuals with psychopathic traits and may be linked to violent, criminal behavior. 

“Psychopaths are often thought of as cold-blooded criminals who take what they want without thinking about consequences,” Joshua Buckholtz, a graduate student in the Department of Psychology and lead author of the new study, said. “We found that a hyper-reactive dopamine reward system may be the foundation for some of the most problematic behaviors associated with psychopathy, such as violent crime, recidivism and substance abuse.”

Previous research on psychopathy has focused on what these individuals lack—fear, empathy and interpersonal skills. The new research, however, examines what they have in abundance—impulsivity, heightened attraction to rewards and risk taking. Importantly, it is these latter traits that are most closely linked with the violent and criminal aspects of psychopathy.

“There has been a long tradition of research on psychopathy that has focused on the lack of sensitivity to punishment and a lack of fear, but those traits are not particularly good predictors of violence or criminal behavior,” David Zald, associate professor of psychology and of psychiatry and co-author of the study, said. “Our data is suggesting that something might be happening on the other side of things. These individuals appear to have such a strong draw to reward—to the carrot—that it overwhelms the sense of risk or concern about the stick.”

Read More

(via julygain)



clinicalpsychopathology:

 
Psychopathy and the Brain
 
Most people think of psychopaths as the character of Hannibal Lector in Silence Of The Lambs, or they think of someone like Jack The Ripper or Batman’s Joker - sadistic, violent, creepy, and quite a bit larger than life.  In contrast, real-life psychopaths can be much more inconspicuous—charming, convincing, and seductive, they manage to influence and exploit others to get their way.  Sociopaths do not only include serial killers or mass murderers, or high-powered psychopaths that became politicians or high-level executives, but they include those “average” people that get pleasure out of exerting whatever power they can. Amongst the key features of psychopaths are a lack of empathy and a lack of conscience. That means they don’t feel empathy for others and don’t experience remorse when they harm or hurt others. This characteristic of a lack of remorse is something that is very difficult to grasp for people who do have a conscience, and I think this can make it hard to identify psychopaths. It is the charming, nice, glib, and seductive exterior that can make it difficult to realize when you are dealing with a psychopath.
Researchers Abigail Marsh and James Blair reviewed several studies that investigated  psychopathy in relation to the ability to recognize the affect expressed in other people’s faces.  People with psychopathic characteristics did not show any consistent deficits in recognizing the expression of happiness, anger, or disgust in the facial expressions of others.  However, interestingly, they had significant deficits in recognizing fear in other people.  The authors concluded that it is not that people with psychopathic traits have difficulty reading other people’s facial expressions in general, but there’s something that’s related specifically to identifying the affect of fear in others.  Since there is some evidence that the function of recognizing fear-expression is located predominantly in an area in the brain called the amygdala, Marsh and Blair concluded that there must be some deficits in psychopaths that have to do with neurocognitive functions in that area of the brain.  
 This hypothesis receives further support through a 2009 brain imaging study by Yaling Yang and colleagues that demonstrated that the amygdala of people with psychopathy had reduced volume compared to a non-psychopathic control group. It’s quite fascinating what our modern technology of brain imaging and our modern research methods enable us to do.  
 However, even though there is some indication that there may be some identifiable deficits in the brain that are related to psychopathy, much is still unknown and mysterious about it.  We still know little about the mechanisms of how a psychopathic personality develops, and what can be done in order to offer effective methods of prevention and treatment.  And this is what ultimately will help to reduce the harm done by the sociopath next door.

clinicalpsychopathology:

Psychopathy and the Brain

Most people think of psychopaths as the character of Hannibal Lector in Silence Of The Lambs, or they think of someone like Jack The Ripper or Batman’s Joker - sadistic, violent, creepy, and quite a bit larger than life.  In contrast, real-life psychopaths can be much more inconspicuous—charming, convincing, and seductive, they manage to influence and exploit others to get their way.  Sociopaths do not only include serial killers or mass murderers, or high-powered psychopaths that became politicians or high-level executives, but they include those “average” people that get pleasure out of exerting whatever power they can. Amongst the key features of psychopaths are a lack of empathy and a lack of conscience. That means they don’t feel empathy for others and don’t experience remorse when they harm or hurt others. This characteristic of a lack of remorse is something that is very difficult to grasp for people who do have a conscience, and I think this can make it hard to identify psychopaths. It is the charming, nice, glib, and seductive exterior that can make it difficult to realize when you are dealing with a psychopath.

Researchers Abigail Marsh and James Blair reviewed several studies that investigated  psychopathy in relation to the ability to recognize the affect expressed in other people’s faces.  People with psychopathic characteristics did not show any consistent deficits in recognizing the expression of happiness, anger, or disgust in the facial expressions of others.  However, interestingly, they had significant deficits in recognizing fear in other people.  The authors concluded that it is not that people with psychopathic traits have difficulty reading other people’s facial expressions in general, but there’s something that’s related specifically to identifying the affect of fear in others.  Since there is some evidence that the function of recognizing fear-expression is located predominantly in an area in the brain called the amygdala, Marsh and Blair concluded that there must be some deficits in psychopaths that have to do with neurocognitive functions in that area of the brain.  

 This hypothesis receives further support through a 2009 brain imaging study by Yaling Yang and colleagues that demonstrated that the amygdala of people with psychopathy had reduced volume compared to a non-psychopathic control group. It’s quite fascinating what our modern technology of brain imaging and our modern research methods enable us to do.  

 However, even though there is some indication that there may be some identifiable deficits in the brain that are related to psychopathy, much is still unknown and mysterious about it.  We still know little about the mechanisms of how a psychopathic personality develops, and what can be done in order to offer effective methods of prevention and treatment.  And this is what ultimately will help to reduce the harm done by the sociopath next door.



ramirezdahmerbundy:

What is a Paraphilia?
Paraphilia is a medical or behavioral  science term for what is also  referred to as: sexual deviation, sexual  anomaly, sexual perversion or a  disorder of sexual preference. It is the  repeated, intense sexual  arousal to unconventional (socially deviant)  stimuli.
Richard Von Krafft-Ebing, a German  psychiatrist  credited with formally introducing the study of Sexology as  a  psychiatric phenomenon, identified paraphilias first in his 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis (Sexual Psychopathy). This highly influential psychiatric text laid the   groundwork for the development of research and treatment in this area   that has taken place over the last century.
Paraphilias are currently recognized as one of the categories of Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders in the DSM-IV-TR
List of Paraphilias
Abasiophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) people who use leg braces or other orthopaedic appliances Acousticophilia: sexual arousal from certain sounds Acrotomophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) amputees Agalmatophilia: sexual attraction to statues or mannequins or immobility Algolagnia: sexual pleasure from pain Amaurophilia: sexual arousal by a partner whom one is unable to see due  to  artificial means, such as being blindfolded or having sex in total   darkness. (See: sensory deprivation) Andromimetophilia: love of women dressed as men Apodysophilia: desire to undress, see also nudism Apotemnophilia: desire to have (or sexual arousal from having) a healthy appendage (limb, digit, or male genitals) amputated Aquaphilia: arousal from water and/or in watery environments, including bathtubs or swimming pools Aretifism: sexual attraction to people who are without footwear, in contrast to retifism Asphyxiophilia: sexual attraction to asphyxia; also called breath  control play; including autoerotic asphyxiation; see medical warnings Autogynephilia: love of oneself as a woman (also see Blanchard, Bailey, and Lawrence theory for discussion on controversy) Biastophilia: sexual pleasure from committing rape Celebriphilia: pathological desire to have sex with a celebrity. Coprophilia: sexual attraction to (or pleasure from) feces Crush fetish: sexual arousal from seeing small creatures being crushed by members of the opposite sex, or being crushed oneself Dacryphilia: sexual pleasure in eliciting tears from others or oneself Dendrophilia: sexual attraction to trees and other large plants, popularized by the movie “Superstar” with Molly Shannon Diaper fetishism: sexual arousal from diapers Emetophilia (a.k.a. vomerophilia): sexual attraction to vomit Ephebophilia (a.k.a. hebephilia): sexual attraction towards adolescents Eproctophilia: sexual attraction to flatulence Exhibitionism: sexual arousal through sexual behavior in view of third  parties (also  includes the recurrent urge or behavior to expose one’s  genitals to an  unsuspecting person, known as indecent exposure) Faunoiphilia: sexual arousal from watching animals mate Fetishism: is the use of non-sexual or nonliving objects or part of a  person’s body to gain sexual excitement. Examples include: Balloon  fetishism — breast fetishism — foot fetishism (podophilia) —  fur  fetishism — leather fetishism — lipstick fetishism — medical  fetishism —  panty fetishism — robot fetishism — rubber fetishism — shoe fetishism —  smoking fetishism — spandex fetishism — dental  braces fetishism —  transvestic fetishism Frotteurism: sexual arousal from the recurrent urge or behavior of touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person Galactophilia: sexual attraction to human milk or lactating women (incorrect term) Gerontophilia: sexual attraction towards the elderly Haematophilia: sexual  attraction involving blood (either on a sex  partner/attractive person  or the liquid itself; not to be confused with  haemophilia, a genetic  disorder of the blood) Harpaxophilia: sexual arousal from being the victim of a robbery or burglary Hematolagnia: sexual attraction to blood Hybristophilia: sexual arousal to people who have committed crimes, in particular cruel or outrageous crimes Infantilism: sexual pleasure from dressing, acting, or being treated as a baby Katoptronophilia: sexual arousal from having sex in front of mirrors. Klismaphilia: sexual pleasure from enemas Lust murder: sexual arousal through committing murder Macrophilia: sexual attraction to larger people and large things (including larger body organs such as breasts and genitalia) Maiesiophilia: sexual attraction to childbirth or pregnant women Masochism: is the recurrent urge or behavior of wanting to be humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer Microphilia: sexual attraction to smaller people and things of smaller size Mysophilia: sexual attraction to soiled, dirty, foul or decaying material Necrophilia: sexual attraction to corpses Necrozoophilia: sexual attraction to the corpses or killings of animals (also known as necrobestiality) Nepiophilia: the same as infantophilia sexual attraction to children between the age of 0 - 3 yrs. Pedophilia: sexual attraction to prepubescent children (British spelling: paedophilia) Phalloorchoalgolagnia: sexual arousal by the experiencing of painful stimuli being administered to the male genitals. Pictophilia: sexual attraction to pictorial pornography/erotic art Plushophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters Pyrophilia: sexual arousal through watching, setting, hearing/talking/fantasizing about fire Retifism: sexual arousal from shoes Sadism: sexual arousal from giving pain Schediaphilia (aka Toonophilia): love (or sexual arousal) to cartoon characters/situations Sitophilia: sexual arousal from food Somnophilia: sexual arousal from sleeping or unconscious people Spectrophilia: sexual attraction to ghosts Telephone scatologia: being sexually aroused by making obscene telephone calls Teratophilia: sexual attraction to deformed or monstrous people Transformation fetish: sexual arousal from depictions of transformations of people into objects or other beings Transvestic fetishism: is a sexual attraction towards the clothing of the opposite gender (also known as transvestitism) Trichophilia: love (or sexual arousal) from hair Urolagnia: sexual attraction to urine Vorarephilia: sexual attraction to being eaten by, and/or eating, another person or creature Voyeurism: sexual  arousal through watching others having sex (also  includes the  recurrent urge or behavior to observe an unsuspecting  person who is  naked, disrobing or engaging in sexual activities, see peeping tom) Xenophilia: sexual attraction to foreigners (in science fiction, can also mean sexual attraction to aliens) Zoophilia: emotional or sexual attraction to animals Zoosadism: the sexual enjoyment of causing pain and suffering to animals  Note: Sadism and masochism are often grouped together, under  sadomasochism, or (as a lifestyle interest) BDSM.

ramirezdahmerbundy:

What is a Paraphilia?

Paraphilia is a medical or behavioral science term for what is also referred to as: sexual deviation, sexual anomaly, sexual perversion or a disorder of sexual preference. It is the repeated, intense sexual arousal to unconventional (socially deviant) stimuli.

Richard Von Krafft-Ebing, a German psychiatrist credited with formally introducing the study of Sexology as a psychiatric phenomenon, identified paraphilias first in his 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis (Sexual Psychopathy). This highly influential psychiatric text laid the groundwork for the development of research and treatment in this area that has taken place over the last century.

Paraphilias are currently recognized as one of the categories of Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders in the DSM-IV-TR

List of Paraphilias

Abasiophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) people who use leg braces or other orthopaedic appliances
Acousticophilia: sexual arousal from certain sounds
Acrotomophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) amputees
Agalmatophilia: sexual attraction to statues or mannequins or immobility
Algolagnia: sexual pleasure from pain
Amaurophilia: sexual arousal by a partner whom one is unable to see due to artificial means, such as being blindfolded or having sex in total darkness. (See: sensory deprivation)
Andromimetophilia: love of women dressed as men
Apodysophilia: desire to undress, see also nudism
Apotemnophilia: desire to have (or sexual arousal from having) a healthy appendage (limb, digit, or male genitals) amputated
Aquaphilia: arousal from water and/or in watery environments, including bathtubs or swimming pools
Aretifism: sexual attraction to people who are without footwear, in contrast to retifism
Asphyxiophilia: sexual attraction to asphyxia; also called breath control play; including autoerotic asphyxiation; see medical warnings
Autogynephilia: love of oneself as a woman (also see Blanchard, Bailey, and Lawrence theory for discussion on controversy)
Biastophilia: sexual pleasure from committing rape
Celebriphilia: pathological desire to have sex with a celebrity.
Coprophilia: sexual attraction to (or pleasure from) feces
Crush fetish: sexual arousal from seeing small creatures being crushed by members of the opposite sex, or being crushed oneself
Dacryphilia: sexual pleasure in eliciting tears from others or oneself
Dendrophilia: sexual attraction to trees and other large plants, popularized by the movie “Superstar” with Molly Shannon
Diaper fetishism: sexual arousal from diapers
Emetophilia (a.k.a. vomerophilia): sexual attraction to vomit
Ephebophilia (a.k.a. hebephilia): sexual attraction towards adolescents
Eproctophilia: sexual attraction to flatulence
Exhibitionism: sexual arousal through sexual behavior in view of third parties (also includes the recurrent urge or behavior to expose one’s genitals to an unsuspecting person, known as indecent exposure)
Faunoiphilia: sexual arousal from watching animals mate
Fetishism: is the use of non-sexual or nonliving objects or part of a person’s body to gain sexual excitement. Examples include:
Balloon fetishism — breast fetishism — foot fetishism (podophilia) — fur fetishism — leather fetishism — lipstick fetishism — medical fetishism — panty fetishism — robot fetishism — rubber fetishism — shoe fetishism — smoking fetishism — spandex fetishism — dental braces fetishism — transvestic fetishism
Frotteurism: sexual arousal from the recurrent urge or behavior of touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person
Galactophilia: sexual attraction to human milk or lactating women (incorrect term)
Gerontophilia: sexual attraction towards the elderly
Haematophilia: sexual attraction involving blood (either on a sex partner/attractive person or the liquid itself; not to be confused with haemophilia, a genetic disorder of the blood)
Harpaxophilia: sexual arousal from being the victim of a robbery or burglary
Hematolagnia: sexual attraction to blood
Hybristophilia: sexual arousal to people who have committed crimes, in particular cruel or outrageous crimes
Infantilism: sexual pleasure from dressing, acting, or being treated as a baby
Katoptronophilia: sexual arousal from having sex in front of mirrors.
Klismaphilia: sexual pleasure from enemas
Lust murder: sexual arousal through committing murder
Macrophilia: sexual attraction to larger people and large things (including larger body organs such as breasts and genitalia)
Maiesiophilia: sexual attraction to childbirth or pregnant women
Masochism: is the recurrent urge or behavior of wanting to be humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer
Microphilia: sexual attraction to smaller people and things of smaller size
Mysophilia: sexual attraction to soiled, dirty, foul or decaying material
Necrophilia: sexual attraction to corpses
Necrozoophilia: sexual attraction to the corpses or killings of animals (also known as necrobestiality)
Nepiophilia: the same as infantophilia sexual attraction to children between the age of 0 - 3 yrs.
Pedophilia: sexual attraction to prepubescent children (British spelling: paedophilia)
Phalloorchoalgolagnia: sexual arousal by the experiencing of painful stimuli being administered to the male genitals.
Pictophilia: sexual attraction to pictorial pornography/erotic art
Plushophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters
Pyrophilia: sexual arousal through watching, setting, hearing/talking/fantasizing about fire
Retifism: sexual arousal from shoes
Sadism: sexual arousal from giving pain
Schediaphilia (aka Toonophilia): love (or sexual arousal) to cartoon characters/situations
Sitophilia: sexual arousal from food
Somnophilia: sexual arousal from sleeping or unconscious people
Spectrophilia: sexual attraction to ghosts
Telephone scatologia: being sexually aroused by making obscene telephone calls
Teratophilia: sexual attraction to deformed or monstrous people
Transformation fetish: sexual arousal from depictions of transformations of people into objects or other beings
Transvestic fetishism: is a sexual attraction towards the clothing of the opposite gender (also known as transvestitism)
Trichophilia: love (or sexual arousal) from hair
Urolagnia: sexual attraction to urine
Vorarephilia: sexual attraction to being eaten by, and/or eating, another person or creature
Voyeurism: sexual arousal through watching others having sex (also includes the recurrent urge or behavior to observe an unsuspecting person who is naked, disrobing or engaging in sexual activities, see peeping tom)
Xenophilia: sexual attraction to foreigners (in science fiction, can also mean sexual attraction to aliens)
Zoophilia: emotional or sexual attraction to animals
Zoosadism: the sexual enjoyment of causing pain and suffering to animals
Note: Sadism and masochism are often grouped together, under sadomasochism, or (as a lifestyle interest) BDSM.



biomedicalephemera:

Instruments required for “opening a body” [autopsy]
*The term “L’ouverture d’un corps” was used at this point in time to refer to an investigation into the cause of death, not a general dissection
Though most deaths were simply chalked up to diseases and common causes of the day, there were a limited number of legitimate and well-performed autopsies that took place before Rudolf Virchow’s book on standardization of autopsy procedures was published, in 1850.
The vast majority of those autopsies were performed so as to prove cause of death for a murder trial. In this particular book, M. Dionis also notes that you can easily discern the work of particularly bad surgeons on a cadaver, and that they ought to be held accountable for at least contributing to the death. Mind you, this was a time when 60%+ surgeries were ultimately fatal, so these surgeons that M. Dionis is implicating must have been particularly awful at their job…
Cours d’Operations de Chirurgie. M. Dionis, 1757.

biomedicalephemera:

Instruments required for “opening a body” [autopsy]

*The term “L’ouverture d’un corps” was used at this point in time to refer to an investigation into the cause of death, not a general dissection

Though most deaths were simply chalked up to diseases and common causes of the day, there were a limited number of legitimate and well-performed autopsies that took place before Rudolf Virchow’s book on standardization of autopsy procedures was published, in 1850.

The vast majority of those autopsies were performed so as to prove cause of death for a murder trial. In this particular book, M. Dionis also notes that you can easily discern the work of particularly bad surgeons on a cadaver, and that they ought to be held accountable for at least contributing to the death. Mind you, this was a time when 60%+ surgeries were ultimately fatal, so these surgeons that M. Dionis is implicating must have been particularly awful at their job…

Cours d’Operations de Chirurgie. M. Dionis, 1757.



the heart is the organ of love but all organs are 

raphael-wolfgang:

i was afraid when i first noticed blood was pretty. i was afraid when i first noticed you were pretty. i remember that, the first photograph i saw of you, smiling into the mirror with an orange glow in the bad light and your hair curling around you like fire and smoke feeling gravity. i was so afraid and pleased to find out that you were as pretty as i expected, and maybe that is a shallow thing, but i think i would have found you pretty no matter what you looked like. it is the principle of the thing and that is what scared me, too.

i was wise. the prettier a thing is, the more that it hurts to look at, the kind of hurt that moves your entire stomach, and when this beauty is hidden beneath pain receptors then that is worse. thank goodness you do not need to open up to look at blood, or even touch it. you can rub the undersides of my wrists or my chest where the heartbeat is, and touch my throat and tongue and anywhere you can find a vein and i will like that, but you can bite or cut and i will like that too. they call this masochism and they are half right.

i do not think i feel pain the same way as other people. it is terrible of me to assume that my brain is so special, but there are people all around me who try to avoid physical pain and i do not and they say that makes me sick and maybe they are right. i do not do this out of some desire for self-punishment but because it feels good, physical and not emotional. it is masturbation in the barest sense, it is the intensity of feeling and the release of having stopped and it is good.

when i have good dreams they are often about that, about nerves being played like puppet strings until i am pulled to a breaking point and then released all at once. bad dreams are pain too, but then it is emotional pains or slow cutting pains or aches, stubbing your toes or scraping your hands all up, and those do not have the intensity that i enjoy unless your hands are pressing on my bruises and making it worse. it is vitally important that they be your hands. no other touch will do.

but it is not just blood i like, and it is not just pain. it is insides. i am a funny animal, aren’t i, when i am stuck on this planet. i am red inside, with coldwhiteheavy bones, all symmetrical, like a marble frame with goo poured in. my lungs and heart and everything are so very fragile and curved in just the right ways and swollen and heavy, too. all of me is heavy. all of me would feel good trapped under your hands and bleeding hard, or squeezed until it burst.

my favorite parts of the human body are the hands and mouths. hands because they are where your skeleton shows through. hands lose little density when the flesh is lost, and the padding is enough to make them pleasant to touch or kiss. they are soft and yet when i touch the joints and knuckles there are bones there, just beneath the surface, pretty and hard and so different from the squish squish of the rest of the human body. i would like to kiss your joints, and then your soft parts. mouths are soft, soft and wet, and feel to me like insides, like a gash cut into you where things are internal and intimate. your bones show through there, too. i would like to give you every small bone in my body and let you roll them in your hands like stones and then touch the slick wet warm of my hidden guts. my skin outside is dry and rough and dirty but inside i am beautiful and i do not mean my personality.

i think that is how i am able to enjoy sex with humans despite not wanting them that way. all the openings of a human body are very soft and pink- you put this here, my fingers go there and they call this being “inside” of you and they are right. i can feel your heartbeat through your pink spots. you make sweet sounds, too, and your body strains as though you are truly dying, and yet you like this, and that is what makes it good for me.

that is why they tell me i am not asexual. maybe they are right then, too. i would like to be close to you, i would like my hands buried inside your chest up to the wrists and your hands holding the ribs open or crawling on my back to let me know this is okay, this is okay. i would like to make an anatomy study of you, all broken down and strewn across the table, spilling as though you were packed tight before and it makes me nauseous but it is a good thing. i want things with you that make even me sick. i want to chew you up and eat you, crouching over you like a mad ravenous thing, because i am mad, darling, they call what i have a mental illness, and sometimes i am ravenous for every part of you. i want you to be broken down into proteins and become me and then i will learn to love myself because i will have gotten all this from you, each new cell and organ and the blood and the bones knitted from old bits and pieces swallowed up and stolen. i would have all this reversed, too, because what matters is not me eating you or you eating me or breaking me or kissing me but that it is occurring.

i think this is love. i think this is the sort of love they do not write about, because it has been turned inside out so that the things you take for granted are buried deep inside and the parts that no one ever dreamed of or wanted to see are hanging out in the open asking to be touched and singing like wind chimes. this is the love i write about, and they think it is foul, and they are wrong.



Black Box Recorder - Child Psychology

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omnipresentmurphy:

Child Psychology - Black Box Recorder

Something I liked about this.